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Are You Being Taken for Granted?

June 25, 2012

How often have you wished someone would stop taking you for granted?

Think about it before your answer.

How many times have you felt that way?

How bad did it feel?

Without dwelling on each experience, make a mental list of names of people you’ve felt have taken you for granted.

Now add one more name to that list.

Your own.

We passed the valet parking and found a safe spot next to a huge bush in the neighborhood of quaint bungalows. Katherine’s hairdresser had recommended the restaurant. Its atmosphere of was rich, dark, inviting, beautiful, and trendy. We ordered Shiraz and a seafood fondue. We told secrets, we laughed and we treated the bartender like he was our best friend (although we did stop short of saying anything indiscrete when he was nearby).  We were completely comfortable and happy.

About an hour in to this perfect night, another middle-aged woman sat at the bar, alone. She was waiting on friends, and it was obvious she was well acquainted with the bartender. He was a huge man with a deep voice and broad smile. He made us feel protected as he poured our drinks. The woman had a friendly look, blonde hair, expensive earrings that resembled peacock feathers, and a fabulous turquoise scarf. A flattering, dark coat covered her outfit.

I could see Katherine bristle. I wonder if she noticed her own physical reaction. After a few minutes she said, “My hairdresser told me I’d be the most unattractive woman in this place.”  I looked at her, shocked.  Was she kidding? Did he really say that to her? Was he being sarcastic?  I didn’t know what to think… I was shocked that she apparently believed it to be true.

I looked around. A row of tables against a wall held four older couples. Behind us, the tables were filled with younger, attractive people. If there was one common element, it was money – not beauty. No one was stunning.

I realized Katherine’s statement was based solely on the appearance of the woman who shared the bar with us.  I was saddened that the presence of a lone person could be so offsetting for her.  “Katherine, listen to me…”

She looked at me with anticipation and with the openness of a child. Her face told me that she knew the words I was about to speak would be from the heart and for her benefit. I wished she knew how beautiful she was in that light. It felt good to have her trust.

“When we were young we worried that our legs were too boney or too curvy…”

“Fat,” Katherine interrupted.

I silenced her with a look and kept talking, “ We worried that our hair was too straight or too frizzy. Instead of all of that worrying, we should have been showing off our flat bellies!”

We both laughed and I pretended like I was going to lift my blouse to show off my skin.

“Now we’re 45 and we can do anything we want with our hair, we’ve grown used to our legs, and we’d give anything for those pre-baby bellies.  Stop comparing yourself to anyone else, and be happy for who you are… today… right now. So what if you need glasses to read now?  They look great. We laughed again as I toyed with my glasses.

“One day we’re going to be 75 and we’ll look back on tonight and we’ll say, ‘I’d give anything to be back there. I was young and beautiful, and I had money. I could do anything I wanted. If only I could go back to that time, there’s so much I would do with my life!’ We’re healthy, beautiful, happy, and independent.  Go buy yourself a gorgeous turquoise scarf; you can afford it, and that’s the only thing she has that you don’t. “

Take yourself of the list of people who take you for granted. Go shopping. Look in the mirror. Enjoy your reflection. Smile. You’re fabulous!

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From → babblings

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